Deconversion and the 3 Strands That Will Keep Your Faith Strong

It’s not easy to keep the faith in this secular, post-Christian era that is becoming increasingly hostile to Christianity. Even for dedicated believers there are so many things that can slowly erode our faith. And it certainly doesn’t help when we hear of well-known and respected leaders in the Christian community who have announced their deconversion.

The reasoning usually includes the idea that there are inconsistencies in the Bible. This isn’t really true. One example is the gospel of John. Why is it so different from the synoptic gospels? One good reason is that it was written about 20 years after the others and John wanted to highlight things that were not previously discussed in the other versions. Makes perfect sense to me.

But even if you can’t seem to reconcile your questions in a way that makes sense to you, our faith shouldn’t rely solely on the Bible. If you have a personal relationship with the God of the universe, this other issue is actually pretty inconsequential.

But I have been concerned about and in prayer about this recently.

But what occurred to me is if we rely on a dusty old book and nothing else to keep us in the faith, we are in big trouble. Don’t get me wrong! I love the Bible. The guidance this book has given me over the years has transformed my life!

How To Prevent Deconversion

I only phrase it that way to emphasize this point. The Bible is one means by which we strengthen our faith, but not the only one. This verse came to me from as I was thinking about this: A cord of three strands is not quickly torn apart. . . And the three strands required to keep a strong faith are:

1. God’s presence– His strength, guidance, peace, comfort, healing. We should be experiencing one or more of these manifestations of His presence on a regular basis. And never do we have a greater opportunity to experience these things then when we’re going through a trial. Hence, don’t waste your pain!
2. God’s power– Seeing Him undertake for us, answering our prayers, getting justice for us as we trust Him and do things His way rather than our way. A real, intimate, personal, vibrant relationship with God is the greatest defense against deconversion. And we get that by trusting in and doing things His way and not our way.
3. God’s Word– If you been in the church for any length of time, you know your faith will not remain strong unless you are in the Word. And not just on Sunday mornings.

To illustrate, my son-in-law Aaron is a medical resident and a great kid. I love him as a son. Some of his qualities I find most endearing are that he is earnest, respectful and well put-together. And he is always eager to do what is expected of him in any given situation.

Aaron and my daughter Margaret live in the lower level of my home. They don’t pay rent because they are in the process of paying off his extensive student loans for medical school. I pay all the bills. And between the two of them, they have a higher income than me.

I am more than happy with this arrangement as long as they they/he is willing to help out around the grounds. For the past few summers, he has been a rockstar. He doesn’t need to do much over the winter since Margaret likes to operate the snowplow and clears the driveway of snow.

But summer is fast approaching. And a few weeks ago, I asked him to mow the lawn with my riding mower. (It is a large area. Probably at least 2 acres of the 8-acre property requires mowing). He outrightly refused because he said he was too busy. And that was the end of the conversation as far as he was concerned.

I Wanted to Throttle My Son-in-Law

This infuriated me. I wanted to throttle him (in a loving, Christian way, of course!) Because in the recent past, he seemed to have plenty of time to play computer games all night and work on hobbies.

So, I went to the Lord in prayer. And He directed me to 1st Corinthian 13. You know, the love chapter. Believe me when I say He directed me. Doing this God’s way was not my first inclination!

This was the directive: “Love. . . does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered…bears all things. . . endures all things”.

Does the Lord Want Us to Be Walked on?

At first it felt like God wanted me to allow him to walk all over me. But no sooner did I have that thought that the Lord corrected me. I need to trust Him, and He will undertake for me. He will speak to me and guide me in the situation. In essence I need to trust and obey. I need to do things His way, not my own way.

As I continued to pray about the situation, the thought occurred to me that I need to communicate with Aaron and find out why he’s being so unreasonable about this. There may be things going on with him that I am completely unaware of. So, I prayed for an opportunity to have a conversation with him on a Saturday.

Later that day I was doing some gardening near the patio. He came out to do some charting for work on the patio. I struck up a conversation. I asked him how work was going. He said it hasn’t been easy lately. He is doing an overnight rotation in a very busy emergency department of an urban hospital.

Communication Led to Understanding

For one thing you need to be a multi-tasker in the ED, and he just isn’t. I understand that. I’m not either. And secondly, he said some of the other medical residents seem to be more knowledgeable than him. He thinks this is because they spend every waking hour studying. And he likes to have some balance in his life. So much wisdom for such a young man!

The net result of all this is he ends up having to do all his charting when he gets home. And this generally takes 2-3 hours. Plus, drive time to and from the hospital is probably at least one and a half hours. Also, because he’s doing overnights, he’s having a hard time sleeping. Having to spend extra time in bed also reduces the amount of free time he has.

Knowing all this helped me greatly to be more understanding about the situation. Granted, it would’ve been easier If he would’ve mentioned this to begin with. But that’s why the Lord directed me the way He did.

What Does This Have to Do with Deconversion?

So, what does that have to do with deconversion? Everything.

As I prayed for guidance with regard to the situation, the Lord clearly directed me. And this strengthened my faith. I don’t need a dusty old book to believe. I need a vibrant personal relationship with God where I experience His help in tangible ways on a regular basis.

But we won’t experience this if we don’t trust and do things His way rather than our own. To read a similar post to Deconversion and the 3 Strands that Will Keep Your Faith Strong, see What Does It Mean to Share in the Sufferings of Christ?

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