Narrow Is the Road: Raging Emotions and Self-Control

“Enter by the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many.  For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few” Mathew 7: 13, 14.

This passage is part of the famous Sermon on the Mount Jesus likely preached many times during his earthly ministry. To read the chapter for context, click here.

I used to be in so much intense pain because of my pathological need to love and be loved. My emotions were raging. And everything in me just wanted to lose control. Kind of like a woman in labor as she begins to push.

The pain will cause her to cry or scream or bite or feel like she can’t go on. Essentially the pain causes her to lose control. This is how intense my emotional pain was sometimes.

And as much as I wanted to lose control, the Lord insisted that I control my behavior, mouth, attitudes and thoughts. He invited me to find comfort and solace in His promise to me regarding this issue (He is my Husband). But even that was hard.

I didn’t realize it at the time, but this gut-wrenching pain was the result of my fathers abandonment when I was a baby. He was my primary caregiver. So even though I didn’t have words or cognitive ability to express, or even feel it at the time, I was devastated.

Pain Makes Us Lose Control

Having to control ourselves when our emotions are raging is what it means “enter by the narrow gate and take the narrow road that leads to life”. The narrow road is about self-denial, self-control and self-restraint.

It can be so hard because nothing makes us feel like losing control like pain- either physical or emotional.

Often times someone that’s hugely out of control has huge pain that’s driving it. And there is certainly nothing wrong with having pain that stems from unmet needs.

When I was in so much pain I wanted to be angry, bitter, depressed, feel sorry for myself, lose my temper and think wrong thoughts in an effort to meet my needs.

The Love Walk Is Restrictive

But the love walk is a restrictive one. And the narrow path is the path of love. That’s why it leads to life. But the path of love requires self-control. In fact it is a fruit of the Spirit.

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,  gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law” Galatians 5: 22, 23.

We are not going to walk the narrow path of love with bitterness, self-pity or an out of control temper. And the more pain we’re in the more we want to give in to these things. The irony is we won’t get our needs met and be relieved of the pain as long as we yield to these things.

Criminals often have deep-seated pain as a result of unmet needs. So they respond to this pain by losing control. But look where it gets them. It certainly doesn’t lead to the pain relief they’re so desperate for. In fact, it only adds to their grief and misery.

Narrow Is the Road to Pain Relief

If we respond to it by doing what comes natural, by doing the easy thing, by giving in to our raging emotions and losing control, the result will be the opposite of what we’re so desperate for.

The only way to get our needs met and find relief from pain is by exercising self-control, self-restraint and self-denial in the face of our intense pain and raging emotions.

This is how we enter the small gate and walk the narrow road that leads to life.

To read another post related to Narrow Is the Road: Raging Emotions and Self-Control, see The Gift of Suffering for Sin In the Bible.